I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything. I have not been feeling myself lately and did not want to share my negative energy.. but after all I am not super woman so here’s why:
In 30 days I leave for New Zealand. Am I ready? Not at all!
I have spent over 14 months anticipating this upcoming once in a lifetime exciting adventure. I would not say to the extreme of putting my life on hold but my life has revolved around triathlon: my friends, social gatherings, eating habits, and let’s not forget my budget and vacation planning. Fourteen months ago, I competed at the national level with a thought of competing among the best in the world and the opportunity to visit New Zealand. Although I am certainly not one of the top triathlete in the world, I took the opportunity seriously and dedicated part of my life to be disciplined and dedicated to triathlon. And although I have had a breakthrough by winning the age group division several times and took one Female overall podium spot, I do not feel I am ready. I have kept myself motivated throughout the past few months but I am now wondering if all that hype and excitement wasn’t premature… I am 30 days away and feel like I should be 6 months away. I am not even looking forward to competing in Escape to Miami Triathlon which is 1 week away. When discussing race schedule with my coach, Escape to Miami was supposed to be a tune up to the World’s Championship. I had in mind of winning my division and I am now thinking of taking the race as a brick workout.
Why this up and down? Why this short fall of motivation and excitement now? Am I taking this race too seriously and unable to focus and cherish the moment? I am usually one to scream, cheer and motivate my fellow teammates to take it all in and have no regrets… Why aren’t I able to follow my own advice and exhort this positive source of power and aspiration I know I have in me?
At this time it is a mental game! I am very aware that mental strength is crucial at this time. This video always puts me back in place, makes me realize how grateful I am to have such an opportunity. I have thirty days: thirty days to refine what I have been working for, thirty days to change my negative downer attitude and gain that confidence I once had. One of my greatest fear in life is regret.
If I have to watch this video for the next 30 days, I will. If you hear me be unenthusiastic or pessimistic slap me! Regret is not an option!